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A thousand thoughts a minute..

My body is exhausted but my mind chooses to override.
I close my eyes.. lay still, but my mind goes into overdrive.

A thousand thoughts a minute, each lasting a few seconds then comes the next.
When did it get so bad, each time worse than the last..this episode tops the rest.

When did my sleep become so dependent? Dependent on drugs to stop these voices.
These voices at times consume me, I can’t differentiate all these noises.

I lay in bed counting sheep, so optimistic that sleep will come
Before Ive realised.. I’ve thought about lunch, a random conversation from last year and ones that yet to come.

I used to think this was normal,
thoughts racing because I’m always busy on the go.
Somedays it’s so bad I have to take a seat, close my eyes tight and will my mind to slowly slow.
Is this normal? head racing so fast you feel it may explode

My eyes are wide open now, no longer in denial of the cold facts
It’s never too late to get help, however daunting..I’m finally accepting that.

cW

I will follow..

I feel you slowly chipping away at me, chiselling out a new imperfect being.

Exposed I am naked.

What can I hide from the all seeing Almighty?
Nothing. Not even one thought If I tried.

Which way do I turn which way am I heading?
It feels like round and round I’m going, inside lane no exit no way out.

My life is not my life, I give it all to you
From this day forward, You lead the way and I will follow
…See you soon

cW

Is this life? Love, pain etcetera etc..

You say sleep on it..I know I’ll awake still feeling the same.
Head still in a jumble, seriously.. who’s really cut out for this love game?

We spend our life’s seeking out that unconditional love, from these conditional beings.
Six months later we’re bitter and annoyed, “your the one” relationships left falling apart at the seams.

Is this life? A chronic cycle of joy and pain
Is this life? Thrill seeking daily just to keep yourself sane

Is this life?
This can’t be life.

cW

Shadow walking..

Walking in the shadows, that’s where you’ll find me..

If you need me that’s where i’ll be.

Until further notice, the shadows is where I shall remain

I’m no longer the same..Too aware living in fear of that unknown.

How many more hearts can I break?

How many more happy days can I fake?

In these shadows, no damage can I cause

Regrouping, In these shadows I pause

cW

Sometimes..

Sometimes..
I want to go back..press reset, undo all my wrongs.
Sometimes..
I forget where I’m heading but I’ll always remember where I’m coming from.
Sometimes..
I look in the mirror and question, who is this Person in front of me?
Sometimes..
I feel so empty a void hollow shell, who can truly get through to me?
Sometimes..
I don’t understand my actions deceiving myself, all these lies which lie beneath.
Sometimes…
I lie so well so well I lie, tight stepping this thin line between fact and fiction. My lies I believe.
Sometimes..
Just sometimes.

cW

Broken bonds.. Another soul taken

Growing up I was raised with strong family values
I knew who i was and where I was coming from
Not a year passed throughout my childhood where as a family we didn’t come together and break bread
We sipped from the glass of life, let go of our worries and united young and old
Times have changed..lost souls broken connections
The inevitable outcome..a lost generation
Now.. we mostly come together in times of great sadness.
R.I.P. This makes me sad..

cW